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Postmortem: May 2022 emotional outage


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(Never-finished) Evaluating the contributing factors both positive and negative, direct and indirect, that culminated in a depressive episode in late May 2022.

    Happy 2023!


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    Thoughts on this year and friendship and romance and progress.

      Let me soothe my wounds


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      TW: suicide, abuse, stalking mentions
      It's time to take a break.

        To be loved, to be loved


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        What more could you ask for? (I still love About a Girl by The Academy Is...)

          "Concentrate..."


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          Thoughts about focusing on tasks, and escaping the magnetic pull of distraction by keeping track of the thoughts that would otherwise be left behind.

            Daily HelloTalk Blog Day 3


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            My third regular Japanese blog on HelloTalk. Talking about contests on Leetcode and similar things.

              Daily HelloTalk Blog Day 2


              ‣‣‣ 152 words ( read)

              My second regular Japanese blog on HelloTalk. Talking about how to learn Japanese and what to do about Flashcards.

                Daily HelloTalk Blog Day 1


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                My first regular Japanese blog on HelloTalk. Talking about interviewing and resume stuff.

                  On my father


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                  A summary of my relationship with my father, to give background to those who haven't been part of this nightmarish scenario all along. CW: emotional abuse, narcissism.

                    Reflections on family


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                    The letter to my family, which is as much a letter to myself to understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it as it is one to my family to inform them of what's going on and to state my boundaries.

                      Marissa Gender FAQ


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                      Frequently asked questions as given to family and friends who knew little of trans matters and wanted to know more about Mari's gender transition.

                        Advanced jobs


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                        On empowering the Parts of Me, and in so doing, letting them merge into one, unified, True Me.

                          Bad Brain Time Survival Guide


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                          How my brain glitches in bad situations, and how I'm working around it.

                            On choosing the form of one's dopamine lever


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                            Let's get personal. And let's make it weird.
                            Talking about considering SRS, and feelings on different kinds of genitals, among other things.

                              Co-op partners


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                              Complaining about being single... player mode.

                                私は日本語がレベルアップしました!


                                ‣‣‣ 815 words ( read)

                                ("My Japanese has leveled up!")

                                Thoughts on language learning through the lens of Metroidvanias with RPG elements.

                                  Reflections on self-disgust


                                  ‣‣‣ 2054 words ( read)

                                  (cw: discussion of self-directed transphobia)
                                  A follow-up to the Affection post from earlier this year. It's long!!

                                    Affection


                                    ‣‣‣ 764 words ( read)

                                    Exploring my relationship to affection and love.

                                      Thoughts on Reyas


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                                      Thinking about how my moods tend to cycle, and why.

                                        The first post on my new blog!!


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                                        A post encapsulating my excitement about having a new blog!

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